Porcelain Fists
by Calloniel
Summary: "Who is she?" Her fingers, long and slim, danced over the keys like water, the instrument obeying her every stroke and producing a familiar sound that rang in the Sexta Espadas ears. "I don't know." Grimmjow/OC; romance & tragedy; one-shot


Calloniel; this took me... about a week. Mainly because of finals, but I was also trying not to make Grimmjow TOO ooc. Which I might have failed at. Whatever, haha. Review, let me know what you think, ect.

It was about to rain, the clouds in the sky swollen with water just waiting to burst open upon Kara Kura town. The night air was chilly with a slight wind, a gentle frost escaping from pale lips that opened just slightly. Running his hand through his spiky blue hair, Grimmjow stepped lightly on the sidewalk, walking like the panther of his other form. The gigai that he inhabited fit him tightly, and to stretch and move his fingers took more effort than it should. To prove the thought, the Espada stretched out his arm, clenching and unclenching his fist, watching the reaction time. _Just a little late,_ he thought vaguely, his mind preoccupied with what had brought him here. Something from the past had tugged him to the human realm, something familiar that eluded clarity. He just knew that it was _her_ and that he had been summoned like a dog to its master.

Street lamps lit up the lonely road, quiet because of the event in the theater at the center of town. The stores and shops reflected the arrancars image as he walked. His gigai had normal, teenager like clothing that Grimmjow was unfamiliar with. A tight fitting white t-shirt with a black and blue plaid vest over it covered his torso, with black jeans covering his legs. They weren't tight, but weren't loose. Letting out a sigh, he wondered if what he was wearing was appropriate for where he was going, but he then came to realize that he didn't care. He just had to see _her_.

A childish giggle caught his attention, and he glanced to the other side of the road. Two girls, dressed in skirts and tube tops with heels, whispered things to each other, looking openly at him every other word. His upper lip lifted, revealing canines that were slightly sharper than normal. _Pathetic whores,_ he thought. But this facial expression just seemed to excite them, so much that the smaller of the two stopped off the sidewalk and hollered at him.

"Hey there handsome!" She cooed, bending over, revealing a large amount of cleavage. "Looking for a bit of company? Me and my friend are getting kind of chilly and could use a man like you to warm us up!" Another giggle and a squeal escaped from her companion. Grimmjow kept walking, turning his face away from them. Did human men find that attractive?

"Aw, don't be shy," cried the other woman, one who didn't look much older than 18. "We'll treat you nice, we promise!" She slipped a hand into her skirt, licking her lips.

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow, annoyance bubbling under his skin. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked on, despite the gasps and angry mutterings of the woman behind him. The clacking of heels faded into the night as they abandoned their pursuit. He wasn't interested in common day prostitutes.

On any other day, he would have snapped their necks and left them in an alley to fester and rot like the garbage they were. But tonight was a different night, a special night. _She_ was here and she had called him, so he would come. Maybe that's what had the sexta Espada in such a funk, such a mood. Grimmjow was different tonight, and he wasn't sure if he liked it, liked what _she_ did to him. It wasn't right, this power _she_ had over him. And he didn't even know who _she_ was! A feral snarl ripped through the air as Grimmjow shook his head, erasing those tiresome thoughts. They did nothing but confuse and trouble him. He was an arrancar, an Espada. He shouldn't be letting this human have so much power over him.

The streets became more and more crowded as he approached the theater. It was an old fashioned theater, with a wide white sign with the letters you put in. In bold black it announced the arrival of a special guest. _Her_. A line wrapped around the block to the ticket booth, the people shivering in the chill air. Annoyance evident on the mans features, Grimmjow glanced around, trying to find some other way in. Luckily, the doors opened, allowing a flood of humans to enter. It wasn't hard to loose himself in the mass of people, despite how he stood out. He was tall compared to these humans, but managed to sneak by without anyone noticing the extra person.

Slipping inside, he followed the crowd of people into the theater. They were everywhere, with their shiny jewelry and flashy dresses, touching each other and feeling each other, the need to impress and flatter a toxic stink that flooded his nose. Were they actually here to see _her_? Or were they here just to socialize? Their chatter filled the air, and Grimmjow resisted the urge to growl. Why were mortals so _noisy_? Did they always have to talk about everything? One of the rare moments were he missed Las Noches flooded over him, the silent desert with the quiet wind. Annoyed, the Espada stalked towards the stairs that led to the upper balconies of the theater. At least thinking in Heuco Mundo was a possibility. Here, you couldn't get a single thought out without being interrupte-

"Sir? Sir!" A young theater boy called, placing a clammy hand on the arrancars shoulder. A flash of anger stormed through Grimmjow, and he vaguely wondered if the bellboy realized what he could do to him. "Sir, the upper levels are closed for this performance, you can't go up... there..."

The Espada growled in annoyance. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure nobody saw as he flicked the boy before him hard on the forehead. He collapsed like a ton of bricks onto the floor. Clicking his tongue, Grimmjow stepped over the body and proceeded up the stairs. "Humans, humans, always so fucking annoying," he said. Slamming open the door at the top of the staircase, he stalked down the hall, listening for anybody else who might have snuck up the stairs. Hearing no one, he picked a side balcony that had a clear view of the stage.

Taking a seat in the plush red velvet chair, he leaned forward over the ledge, watching the stage intently. He took no notice of the crowd of people that began to flood the rows beneath him, or the announcer walking up the stage. He stalked the curtain with intense blue eyes, looking everywhere and anywhere for a flash of that familiar blond hair.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, folks of all ages!" The announcer sang into the microphone. The theater went silent as they took in his voice. He had graying hair and a solid liver spot on his cheek, but managed to look lively and cheerful in his black suit. "Welcome to the Karakura Town Theater House! We have a special guest performance planned for this evening."

_There_.

A slim figure with a heart shaped face peered at the announcer from the side of the stage. Dirty blonde hair danced in careful ringlets to her shoulders and her piercing hazel eyes flitted over the crowd. She didn't look up. But Grimmjow did not expect her to. But that was _her_, he knew it, he was positive. This was the woman who had summoned him here.

His palms began to sweat and he clenched his fist tight as the announcer continued. "A brilliant pianist with years of practice and tutelage from Tokyo's University for the Artistically Gifted, I welcome onto the stage Hara Kaminari!"

Applause filled the air as the _she_, Kaminari, walked onto the stage. The curtain opened with a vicious tug, and a black grand piano revealed itself. Keen eyes focusing on her, Grimmjow watched as she swallowed, the smallest bead of sweat falling down her neck. She was wearing a floor length gown, a black halter-top that revealed a good portion of her back. A necklace hung between her breasts, an amethyst stone about the size of a quarter that crawled along a golden chain. Matching gold bracelets clanked gently against each other on her left wrist, and she adjusted them as she took a seat at the grand piano. A microphone was brought onstage and placed beside her, and she adjusted it to her lips with a thankful smile. As the stagehand left, she blinked a few times before filling the theater with her voice.

"Hello," she said, her bright smile causing Grimmjows heart to beat hard inside his chest. "My name is Hara Kaminari, and I'm going to perform a few songs for you." She fell silent for a few moments, before continuing. "The song I'm going to play for you is a song I wrote. A friend of mine passed away two years ago... he was a very, very dear friend of mine." Her voice choked up, but she continued on anyway. "This will be my first time performing it since his death, so please... enjoy." She turned her gaze back to the piano, made one last adjustment to the microphone, and began to play.

**"'Follow your heart," he said,**

**Your heart will take you there,**

**'Swallow your pride' he said,**

**For pride is anything but rare,"**

_ She was quiet, shy. What was she doing in a cold, mean place like this? The boy had heard about her, how she questioned other patients, talked and smiled at them. What was she? Did she like surrounding herself with sad, pathetic excuses for human beings? She was wasting her time. The people here were tough and coarse, unlikable and bitchy. Most of the people here deserved what they got and didn't need some girl telling them that dying was going to be easy and painless._

_ Blinking up to the white ceiling, the boy tried to ignore her when she came to stand beside him, a curious look in her hazel eyes. Both were silent, waiting for the other to speak. Growing tired, he glanced at her from the corner of his eye._

_ "What do you want." It was a statement, not a question._

_ His brisk tone took her by surprise. "Well, nothing, really."_

_ Turning his blue gaze onto her, he growled, "Then what are you fucking waiting for then? Get outta here." He returned to staring at the ceiling, hoping that she would just turn around and leave him to suffer alone and in silence._

_ After a moment, the sound of something being dragged across tile flooring screeched through the air, and the petite teenager slammed her butt onto the chair she had tugged beside his sickbed. "My name is Kaminari," she said. "What's yours?"_

_ He glowered at her, before turning onto his side to face the window. Which was hard, with the IV attached to his wrist._

_ Another moment of silence before the girl, Kaminari, released a sigh. "Fine, be that way." And she quieted._

_ The boy stared out the window, watching the world fly by even though his own world had stopped. Was she still there? He hadn't heard her get up and leave. Flipping onto his back, he glanced at the chair. Its occupant still sat there, staring at him with those inquisitive eyes. He frowned._

_ "Do you really want to know my name that badly?"_

_ Blinking, she smiled. "Of course," Kaminari said. "I like to know the names of the people I talk to."_

_ "Who says I want to talk to _you_?"_

_ With a playful smirk, she said, "Who wouldn't?"_

_ He didn't have anything to respond to that. She was a beautiful girl, with dirty blond hair that danced across her shoulders. Her skin was a gentle pale, almost as if she didn't get out in the sun enough. Kaminari's eyes were a gorgeous color, the blue and green meshing together in perfect harmony with specks of brown dancing in her eyes. She had a dimple when she smiled, which seemed to be often. People don't smile that often unless they are on some sort of drug._

_ Thinking for a moment, he shrugged. "I don't know my name. And I wouldn't tell you if I did."_

_ The girl blinked. "Why wouldn't you tell me if you knew?" Strange, how she didn't ask why he didn't know his name, only why he wouldn't tell her._

_ "Because my name would be the only thing left to me."_

_ "Ridiculous. You still have your pride and dignity."_

_ A snort came through his nose, followed by laughter. "Your joking right? Have you _seen_ this place?" He gestured around him with his hand. "Pride and dignity have no meaning here. It's stolen from you the moment you walk through those hospital doors."_

_ Tilting her head to the side, Kaminari seemed to ponder what he said. "... I don't think that completely correct. And is loosing your pride a bad thing?" She tapped her chin. "Dignity is something that you will always have, unless you willingly give it up. And pride... too much pride can be a bad thing. Its not like it's a rare occurrence, pride." The boy fell silent, not because he was thinking of what she was saying but because he was tired._

_ "Jaguar-kun."_

_ He blinked. "Excuse me?"_

_ "Jaguar-Kun." Kaminari blinked and grinned a wide toothy grin. "Since you don't know your name, or wont tell me what it is, I'll just call you Jaguar-Kun."_

_ He stared in shock. "Why jaguar?"_

_ "Because your quick to pounce and attack people with your words, but your actually a pretty nice person," she stated, as if she was telling him that the sky was blue. _

"Who is she?"

The cold voice shocked Grimmjow from his thoughts, bringing him back from the past. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Ulquiorra, the cuatro espada, standing there. His black hair framed his emerald eyes, the remains of his mask a helmet lookalike on the left half of his head. He was in his usual outfit, a white hakama with a black sash and jacket. He was staring at the stage, a calculating look upon his features. Grimmjow didn't respond, returning his gaze to the pianist.

**"So I walked into your eyes without a raincoat on,**

**And in the salty sea, I find you're all but gone,"**

_It wasn't his intention to let her in that far._

_ It wasn't her intention hurt him like she did._

_ "Jaguar-kun!" A grin formed on the teens face as he turned to view his only visitor. Stuck inside the hospital, she was his only source of entertainment from the dull world he had been exiled to. A friendship had formed, against his will, as she everyday without fail came and called his name. A name that she had given him._

_ "Kaminari," he greeted. He noticed something in her hands that she had pulled from her book bag, something he didn't recognize. "What's that?"_

_ Her smile never faltered when she was with him. The sickly boy with blue hair and stunning blue eyes stared at her curiously, unlike their first meeting. He had been so hostile and mean. "It's a book," she exclaimed. "I thought that we could read it together during my visits. Its called 'The Black Stallion', its a wonderful story, I think you'll love it!" She had dropped the novel into his hands, watching his face as it darkened._

_ There was a loud crack as the book hit the wall, the cover ripping off as it landed with a thud on the opposite wall._

_ "Get out!" He hollered._

_ Shocked, Kaminari stood, hands clutched together against her chest. "Jaguar-kun..." she whispered, fright evident in her eyes. Seeing her scared of him added fuel to the fire and he glared at her._

_ "I said get out, you filthy whore!" He screamed. He reached for something, anything that he could throw. But he wouldn't need to. _

_ The blonde haired girl skittered to the wall where the book had collapsed, and she gently picked it up with her pale fingers. Tucking it into her book bag, she walked to the door, opening it, and exiting with the same air of fright she'd had while standing at his side._

_ Staring longingly at the door, tears flooded his eyes as the first person he had a connection with in a long time left him. "Fuck!" he shouted, slamming his fist against the bed. Curling up into a ball, he began to cry into his pillow. What the fuck was wrong with him? What the fuck was wrong with _her_, bringing that godforsaken book? Its not like he could _read_ it anyways -_

_ A click sounded as the door opened again. The boy didn't bother to move as tears fell silently down his cheeks. A gentle shuffle of shoes against tile came towards him, and a warm hand touched his shoulder. At first he jerked, but as the hand started to pull away he reached and grabbed it, holding it tightly. Pulling gently, he brought her palm to his cheek, where she could feel the wet trail that his tears had left. There was a dull thud as her book bag dropped the floor, and the teenager scooted over on the bed, making room for her. Laying his arm across the pillow, Kaminari sprawled beside him on the thin mattress, her head lying against his forearm. In her arms she held the book, 'The Black Stallion'._

_ Gulping, he whispered hoarsely, "I can't read."_

_ "That's okay," she whispered. Opening the book, she skipped the first couple of pages, before clearing her throat. "'The tramp steamer _Drake _plowed away from the coast of India...'"_

_ Closing his eyes, he let her soft voice carry him away from the hospital onto that steamer. Unconsciously, his opposite hand went to stroke her hair, the silken strands travelling between his fingers as she read away. Her body seemed to relax against him, and he let himself drift..._

There was a gentle squeak as Ulquiorra took the seat beside him, leaning back into the chair. Crossing over one leg, he stared at Kaminari intently. "Who is the girl?" he asked again, glancing at Grimmjows face. It was relaxed, the blue eyes half closed as if experiencing a pleasant dream. Did that girl have that kind of effect on the sexta espada? Was her voice like morphine to the feline arrancar? Kaminari's fingers, long and slim, danced over the keys like water, the instrument obeying her every stroke and producing a sound that rang in the arrancars ears.

**"Locked in the bathroom stall,**

**Your back against the wall,**

**Cold tiles beneath your knees,**

**Your body broke your fall,"**

_He had escaped._

_ He had left._

_ He just... couldn't stand it anymore. Her being there, her seeing him like this. He didn't deserve her, the special looks that she would give him, her heartbeat thudding against him as she whispered words into his ear, her lips gentle against his -_

_ He was dying._

_ The gas station he had run into was closing, and someone knocked on the door. He had to get out. He had to leave. Gripping the sink tightly, he coughed and hacked away into the sink, blood pooling in his mouth and dripping into the porcelain below, leaving a trail of crimson to the drain. He let it drip down his chin weakness flooded through him. Why was this happening to him? Why did this _disease_ have to come and infest _him_? He deserved it, but now he had something to live for, something that he could take care of. Something that could be his! _

_ But he could feel it, everyday. The infection in his blood, consuming him from the inside out. He had been digging through the hospital trash when he collapsed the second time. Somebody came and found him, bringing him inside. After they ran some tests that he couldn't pay for, they told him that he had cancer. That he probably wouldn't live past a year. Who would have thought an 18-year-old kid living on the streets would have gotten cancer? Would die within a year?_

_ Two months later, and he met Kaminari._

_ Why did this have to happen?_

_ He, the nameless orphan, had been content to live without friends, without family. He had been content to live without emotions such as happiness and love. Anger had become his friend and pain had become his companion. He hadn't needed any of this._

_ Inside the bathroom, his legs buckled underneath him, letting him fall to the floor. He'd only been out of the hospital 5 hours or so. Was it already taking over? Was this going to be the last time he closed his eyes?_

_ A sickening crack rocked his senses as his skull hit the floor._

_ And _

_ blackness_

_ won_

_ again_

_ ._

She was crying, Grimmjow thought. He wondered if anybody else noticed the tears that fell down her cheeks, slowly at first, but then a little faster. The story was unfolding, coming from her soul like an injured bird taking flight for the first time. Cocking his head to the side, he listened to her words. The voice, so soothing and familiar, danced across his memories, trying to drag them up from the grave.

Glancing at Ulquiorra, he murmured his answer.

"I don't know."

**"Spitting into your own reflection gazing back**

**Inside your porcelain fists, your palms begin to crack"**

_He was silent. Since they had dragged him back to the hospital after his little escapade, they had refused him any visitors or free time. He was just stuck in his room, day after day, night after night, with nothing but the sound of the monitors surrounding him keeping him company. _

_ So when the door opened late one night, he did not know what to expect. Or who._

_ Keeping his eyes closed, thinking it was a nurse, he tried to false sleep. Breathing in and out slowly, deeply. There was a long pause, and then a familiar weight settled on the mattress next to him. Recognizing whom it must be, he kept his eyes closed, curious as to what might occur._

_ When tears began to fall on his face, his eyes remained closed._

_ "Jaguar..." she sniffled, "I'm so sorry." Her hand, strangely cool, danced across his cheek. "It's all my fault. I've done nothing but hurt you, torture you. Why? Why does this have to happen to you, to us?" Her voice was choked, warbled. She had been crying for a while, probably before she had even entered the room. "I love you so much," she whispered hoarsely. "Why do you have to... why do you have... have to..."_

_ Feeling his heart thud, he risked opening one eye. Her back was to him, her face in her hands. She was wearing a simple blue dress with a black leather jacket. Her shoulders shook as she blamed herself for something that she couldn't control. Opening his eyes completely, he sat up, and wrapped his arms around her. _

_ Putting his lips to her throat, he whispered, "I don't care anymore. I don't care about dying. I don't care if death takes me. I don't care about anything anymore. I just care about you." Letting his arms wrap around her waist, he continued to kiss down her neck, leaving a small trail of saliva down her throat. She continued to cry, but one hand came to wrap around his neck, bring him down lower, and lower..._

_ Kaminari slide off the bed, only to climb back on, twisting in his grasp to straddle him. A lone tear fell down the bridge of her nose, and he leaned up and kissed it away. Her lips, sweet and smooth, collided with his, the passion running through her body transferring to him like a lightening bolt. His palm ran up her thigh, dancing across the pale skin as the other hand gripped Kaminari's hair tightly, keeping her as close to him as possible. His heart began to race in his ears, keeping in time with the heart monitor. Her tongue lapped at his lower lip, and he opened his mouth, letting his own muscle meet hers in the air. Gasping, they explored each other's mouths and bodies, pulling and tugged, enjoying the feeling of another human being so close to them._

_ Was this what he needed? What _she_ what he needed all along? Her skin was hot and cold to the touch, the taste of vanilla exploding his taste buds. He had never tasted anything like it._

_ Pulling back and looking into his eyes, she watched him watch her as she started to take her jacket off, tossing it to the cold floor. Taking his hand, she placed it on her breast, closing her eyes as he kneaded the tender flesh. The nipple was hard and ripe, protruding obviously against his palm. Was this his doing? Could he really do this to her, make her so warm and wet-_

_ "Kaminari..." he growled, his eyes wide with undisclosed desire. Sitting up on her knees, she fingered the edge of her dress, starting to take it up slowly. When it got up past her belly button, he brought her closer, his hands on her upper thighs. Kissing and licking the soft skin of her stomach, he followed the dress, nestling his face between her breasts. When she was in nothing but her bra and panties, she reached for the sheet that covered him, pulling it back and sliding beneath it with him. Her pianist fingers, long and slim, undid the string that held up his pants and shimmied them down to his ankles, where he kicked them off and pushed them off the mattress. Her nails danced across his stomach, going lower than he thought she would. Not that he minded. Did she want to do this with him? Did she crave his touch like he craved and needed hers? He didn't hesitate as he began to unhook her bra, sliding it down her arms as she tried to lift up his shirt. He aided her in her quest, lifting up the clothing and flinging it to the floor with the rest of their garments._

_ When clothes were no longer a boundary in between them, Kaminari held him close. She let him touch her like she would let no one else, let him feel her like she would let no one else, let him inside her like she would let no one else. She had heard stories about girls who find that perfect guy who just makes them feel like everything in the world would be good, who makes them feel like the world sees them for whom they are._

_ The boy in her arms was her guy._

_ "Jaguar," she whispered, holding him close to her. He whispered her name, his husky voice sending shivers down her body, the single word a spark that set her on fire. This girl was amazing, beautiful, kind and sweet. This was the girl that changed his life so much. This was the girl that made dying worth it, who made cancer worth it. He would kill for this girl, this beautiful woman in his arms._

_ If only the night could last forever._

Her voice did not waver as she continued to sing, her voice carried everywhere through the speakers. A chill swept over Grimmjow as the tale unfolded. Did no one else hear this story, see this story? Their voices filled his ears; their moans as they felt each other, loved each other. Who was this boy who captured her love? Who was this boy that made her feel so strongly, so intensely? A flame of jealously licked through him as the keystrokes became rough, hard, the emotion too much for the strings to project in the silent, calculating manner it had before. Kaminari bent forward over the keys, pouring out her soul as she sang into the mike.

**"So take my hand, your treading water,**

**And I feel sand slipping away from underneath my toes**

**Nobody knows**

**Where is it she goes"**

_"Tell me about it."_

_ She blinked, eyes coming to a focus on his blue gaze. "Tell you about what?"_

_ He gestured towards the window with one hand while he held hers with the other. Her skin was soft, and he rubbed his thumb against it gently. He still had a hard time believing the things that he had shared with her, and her with him. And he still didn't know that much about her world._

_ Smiling gently, he murmured, "Everything. What's your favorite color, your favorite stone, and your favorite place. Just tell me about you." Tugging her towards him, he pulled her in for a kiss. "Maybe tell me why you kiss so good. Or why you came to the hospital." _

_ Kaminari laughed. "There isn't much to say... but... my favorite color is blue, and my fav-"_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because that's the color of your eyes. Anyway, my-"_

_ Smirking, he said, "I knew it. Your in love with me."_

_ Crimson coated her cheeks, the color standing out against the usual whiteness of her skin. "Yeah, whatever. _Anyway, _my favorite stone is amethyst, my favorite place is the beach, I kiss amazingly well because I've had so much practice with you," as she said 'you', she gave him a little jab in the stomach, "and I came to the hospital for service hours."_

_ Sighing in a desperate tone, he rolled his eyes. "Why, why, why? Come on Kaminari, you know I'm dying here."_

_ There was a long_

_ long_

_ pause._

_ Gulping, Kaminari whispered with wet eyes, "Don't joke about that... please." She wiped a hand across her face as she continued. "I... I... I just..." Tears began to stream relentlessly down her cheeks as she hiccupped._

_ The teen didn't quite understand the emotions he began to experience. He felt sad, angry, upset, and remorseful. He hadn't meant to make her cry, and he would never mean to make her cry. Taking her into his arms, he pulled up onto the mattress next to him. His sickbed had become his best friend and secret keeper over the last 6 months. On this mattress he had thrown books, spilled caramel frappuccinos, experienced chemotherapy, made love, and snuggled with his girlfriend almost everyday. Well, the snuggling he did everyday. He didn't do the other stuff everyday. It did not fail him this time as the girl stumbled against him though, wetting his shirt with her crystal tears. _

_ "I'm sorry," she whispered, hiding her face._

_ Pulling a strand of hair behind her ear, he kissed her forehead and responded, "It's okay. I won't mention it again. I'm sorry."_

_ "... The sand."_

_ He looked at her curiously as she revealed her puffy, red rimmed, hazel colored eyes._

_ "That's why I like the beach. Because of the sand. I like making castles, feeling the grains rub up against my skin, the heat between my toes... I just love it."_

_ Smiling, he said, "Well, you're going to have to take me to the beach someday, huh?" The boy was silent until a sweet idea popped up. "Actually..." he began, "can you hear it?" He asked, pretending to be glancing around the room._

_ Wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve, she sat up, her hand on his hip. "Hear what?"_

_ "The ocean." When she stared at him blankly, he tried to clarify. "The waves, lapping up against the shore, the gentle hush of the wind dancing across the ground. The cries of seagulls and pelicans as they swoop to the white rimmed waves..." Sitting up as well, he glanced around him once more. "Oh great, now I can see it to." Staring at Kaminari accusingly, he asked, "Did you magically transport us to the beach?"_

_ After staring at him for a couple of minutes, she began to giggle. "Oh, now I hear it," she hummed. "I can feel the sun beating down on us."_

_ "Should we get under some shade?"_

_ "Probably. But we don't have an umbrella."_

_ Smirking, he hopped off the bed, tugging Kaminari with him. "What are you talking about? It's right... here!" With a flourish, he whipped off the sheet, and placed it over their heads. The world suddenly had a blue tinge as the sun from the window shone through the fabric. Making a gross face under the blanket, he fingered her blonde hair. It had grown from when he first met her, but he paid no mind to it as he said, "Don't dye your hair blue. It wouldn't look nice."_

_ "Don't be mean," she chastised, but she laughed as she wiggled her toes on the bare floor. "The sand," she whispered. Her eyes glimmered as she held onto his hands. "Can you feel it? So warm and calming..." _

_ He tried to wiggle his own toes, and he tried to imagine the feel of the separate little pebbles rubbing up against his feet. But his eyes were locked on the girl in front of him. A simple activity such as pretending they were at the beach was enough to bring a light to her eyes. Feeling a rumble of desire in his chest, he closed what little space was between them and pressed his lips to hers._

_ She responded immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck as he in turn wrapped his limbs around her torso. There was a gentle rattle as the IV stand drifted closer, but he ignored that has he found the wall and pressed Kaminari up against it, trying desperately to close all distances between them. He licked her lip, begging for entrance to her mouth. He wanted to taste her, that delicious vanilla that drove him mad at night when she didn't sneak out to see him. She hesitantly parted her lips, teasing him with the flimsy barrier. His warm, moist tongue drove inside. Her own muscle lapped at him, battling him for dominance. One that she never won, unfortunately for her. As their lips maintained their connected state, his hand found its way up her shirt, unclipping her bra in the back at first but then darting to the front to fondle and caress her. Under his touch, her nipple hardened like a rock, his fingers dancing and probing the very tip. Kaminari tensed under his touch, making small noises in her throat. One of her hands guided his other hand down, down, down, past her belly button to her skirt. It was a long skirt, down to the floor, so he just tugged it down to her thighs, revealing her black underwear. He hooked it with a single finger and pulled it down with a jerk, the dark curls inviting him to touch her, to feel her, to please her. His fingertips roamed through her forest, slowly reaching farther back into the moist nether regions -_

_ When he collapsed._

_ "Jaguar!" Kaminari shouted as he fell from under the sheet, the blue world with the imaginary beach replaced by an obnoxious hospital with white walls. Yanking up her skirt and panties, she fell to the floor beside him. "Jaguar, are you okay?"_

_ Feeling lightheaded and dizzy, he struggled to focus his blue eyes on her hazel gaze. "Yeah," he whispered, then coughed and repeated it a little louder. "I'm fine. Just... dizzy, that's all." In the fall, the IV stand had come to rest beside him, and he tried to use it as a crutch to bring himself to a standing position. "I think I just need to rest, that's all." _

_ Staring worriedly, Kaminari rested a hand on his lower back as she helped him to the bed. Picking up the sheet from the floor, she shook it out before handing it to him._

_ "I should probably go," she said quietly, staring at the floor. _

_ As she turned, a warm hand grabbed onto her wrist. Looking over her shoulder, she saw his panicked face. "Will you..." He coughed a little bit, and then said, "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" Smiling, she brought up that all too familiar chair up to his bed, holding his frail hand. _

_ "Of course."_

_ And she did._

Ulquiorra did not know what to make of this girl, and why she was so different from the other humans to Grimmjow. His piercing emerald gaze remained focused on the Sexta espada as he, in turn, stared down as the fragile mortal on the stage. His face was peaceful and thoughtful; no signs of the anger and rage that usually had a permanent residence there. She didn't even have any spiritual pressure. To her, the arrancars were all but invisible, and vice versa. She meant nothing to them. The song was making a crescendo, the beat increasing as the words took on a stronger meaning, letting loose the final piece of the puzzle. Why, he wondered.

**"When those sad eyes start to close,**

**Nobody knows**

**Where is it she goes?**

**When those sad eyes close..."**

_His heart failed a few days later._

_ The nurses came rushing in as Kaminari screamed and cried, gripping his hand so tightly. He remembered how tight she held him, like she wouldn't let death take him just yet. "Please, please! Help him!" She yelled desperately, her blonde hair dancing around her shoulders as she jumped from foot to foot, glancing between nurses. "Get a doctor! Get a doctor!" She cried._

_ One of the nurses detached himself from the mob, attempting to calm her. "Miss Hara, in order to treat him properly we need you to leave..."_

_ She was interrupted by another nurse announcing he had deadlined and they needed to jumpstart his heart again._

_ Kaminari sobbed, holding onto that hand tighter than before. The nurse forcibly tugged her away, despite her desperate pleas to be released. "I have to be there! I have to be there for him! He _needs_ me!" She writhed in his grasp, punching and kicking the air as they dragged her out. His eyes were dull, staring at her lifelessly. They had just been chatting when he had gripped his chest, as though in pain._

_ "Are you okay?" She had asked. He had smiled at her sweetly and gripped her hand._

_ "Yeah," he said. "I'm fine."_

_ Then he started to get dizzy, nauseous. He gripped his head, closing his eyes tight. Kaminari stood, leaning towards him. "Jaguar? Jaguar!" He collapsed backwards, eyes wide, shaking and trembling on the bed. The teenager leaned over him and pressed the red emergency button as the machine beeped erratically. "Nurse? Nurse, come quick!" She began to cry. "Please, Jaguar, don't die, please, please, oh God, don't leave me here all alone!" He hadn't heard or, nor did he respond._

_ So she had reached over him and pressed the button again, urgently._

_ And again._

_ And again._

_ When they arrived, she was in hysterics. She couldn't stand it, seeing him gaze lifelessly at the ceiling like that. Not him, not the boy she had spent so many hours talking with, the boy she had seen filled with so much passion and humor and _life_-_

_ "Save him!" She screamed. Kaminari was on the floor now, the tears cascading down her cheeks. All she could see were scrubs and tennis shoes as nurses rushed around. If there was a doctor, she didn't see him._

_ A piercing wail echoed through the room._

_ It was a wail that would remain with her for the rest of her life._

_ Maybe it wouldn't leave her be because there was no funeral._

_ Maybe it wouldn't leave her be because they never go to go to the beach._

_ Maybe it wouldn't leave her be because she never knew what happened to his body._

_ Maybe it wouldn't leave her be because she would never know his real name._

_ Kaminari had stopped by the hospital a month later. She didn't know what had driven her to come back. It might have been the site of a new patient in the window of his room. It could have been the new sign that stated a new cancer treatment had been developed that supposedly had an increase of 37% for success. Her wedges slapped against the tile floor as she stared about herself at the white waiting room. She made the familiar walk to the elevators, pressing the 'up' button twice, like she always did. After a couple of seconds it opened, revealing the mirrored interior. Stepping inside, Kaminari could see herself in the reflection, and memories of spending 10 extra minutes in the elevator just to fix her makeup or hair flashed across her vision. Shaking her blonde head back and forth, she walked into the hall as she reached her floor, counting the doors she passed. 409, 410, 411... 412. Kaminari hesitated beside the door. She didn't want to open it. She didn't want to peer inside and be expected to say hello to the stranger that filled the bed her lover had once claimed._

_ She took a peek into Pandora's box anyway._

_ And to her surprise, she felt a small smile grace her face._

_ In honor of the spirited teen with no name and no history, the room had been painted blue. It was meant to be the same blue as his hair, but it was just a shade off. Not that it mattered though. A single tear fell from the young woman's cheek, and she wiped it away as quickly as it fell. Only one came from her hazel eyes, and she stopped the rest right there. Because she would not cry anymore. He wouldn't want that._

_ It was the nurse who had held her the night he died that stopped her as she was leaving. "Miss Hara, please wait!" He had on his person a small box with green Christmas wrapping. Christmas was 12 days away. "Um, _he_ wanted to give this to you for Christmas," he managed, seemingly out of place, "but he told me to give it to you if he... if he didn't... make it." He didn't look at her as he shoved it into her hands, gave a respectful bow, and then retreated._

_ Without preamble or hesitation, she ripped it open, the paper scattering to the wind. Inside it was a necklace. An amethyst stone, about the size of a quarter, attached to a golden chain. Her favorite stone. There was no note, no letter, nothing._

_ But she knew what he wanted to say anyways._

_ 'I love you.'_

Ulquiorra had risen as the last notes drifted off into space, but Grimmjow took no notice of it. His eyes were fixed on the crying woman on the stage that had risen to take a bow. The crowd below had all risen, some with tears in their eyes as the applauded enthusiastically. But they didn't understand, they didn't get the _true_ meaning behind her words. Was he the only one that heard her story in the lyrics that were still ringing in his brain? His hand was clenching into a fist, and it took a minute for him to relax enough to release the hold. Kaminari was taking her last bow when she began to walk offstage. Roses and flowers had been tossed to her feet, just like the audience would at the end of a play.

With a last glance at Grimmjow, the cuatro espada said, "Aizen-sama is calling a meeting. You are to be present at the meeting within the next hour." He glanced to the stage, where the blonde pianist had disappeared to the side, and proceeded to disappear.

Flipping off the area Ulquiorra had been standing, the man rumbled, "Meeting my ass." Grimmjow rose, turning his back on the stage. He couldn't look at her anymore. He couldn't listen to her story anymore.

Opening the door to the hallway, he began to walk towards the bright red exit sign at the opposite end of the hall. Shoving it open, he jogged down the metal stairs on the side of the building, jumping the last few to land crouched like a jungle cat in the alley. Running a hand through his hair, he walked out like he owned the place, his usual air of confidence and arrogance palpable in the air. The only sign that showed otherwise was the sad sigh that passed through his lips. He had just begun to walk down the side of the street, the sidewalk flashing beneath him when he heard a wail.

"Jaguar!"

He froze like someone had poured freezing water on him. It was her voice that pleaded the name that rang so familiarly in his ears. This simple word sent tremors through his body and gave him a raging headache as memories begged to resurface. He turned his head, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

She was barefoot, that was the first thing he noticed. Her heels she held in one hand while with the other she held up the hem of her dress, keeping it from dragging on the asphalt. Her curls were windblown, a few strands of hair dancing in her face. The urge to push them back struck him, but he pushed it aside. Her chest was heaving, as if she had been running. White puffs of smoke curled from her lips as she exhaled, staring at him wildly with her hazel eyes.

Kaminari gulped. "I... I... I saw you. Up on the balcony." She paused. "Jaguar."

Grimmjow waited a moment before turning completely to face her. For a moment, he wondered what it must feel like to be able to say the name without any pain for the first time in years. Oh well, it was not his concern. He ran a hand through his hair again, leaving it on top of his head as he contemplated what he should do. The silence that fell on them was broken when she spoke.

"Please say something."

In seconds he was in front of her, his hands cupping her cheeks. He was taller than her, the top of her head meeting his chin. Bending over, Grimmjow inhaled, breathing her in. _So familiar,_ he thought. While his thumb stroked her cheek, he pressed his lips to her temple, enjoying the simple pleasures that touch brought. Kaminari had pulled herself closer to him by his vest, her face pressed against his solid chest. Intertwining his hands in her hair at the base of her neck, he tugged her back, gazing into her face. Tears trailed down her cheeks, and her eyes had become red and puffy. Not too much of an eyesore though. Wiping a single tear away, he brought her closer to him, their noses bumping together gently. Her breath hitched, the scent of vanilla wafting through his brain. Their lips were centimeters apart as she gasped, "Jaguar."

He turned and walked away.

Because he was not Jaguar. He was Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, arrancar, the sexta espada.

He was dead.

Ignoring the restraints of his gigai, he flicked his wrist. A Garganta formed, the black eye straining open wide. The woman would not be able to the gaping jaws that he walked towards.

Kaminari continued to cry behind him.

Turning, he gave a soft, sad smile.

_"Goodbye."_

**"When those sad eyes start to close,**

**Nobody knows**

**Where is it he goes?**

**When those sad eyes close..."**


End file.
